In a few weeks we’ll be welcoming our second son into this world; as always God-willing. Am I ready? HECK NO! Do I wish there was some more time in between my first-born and second? HECK YES! And yet that did not happen according to our plans. In a short few weeks will no longer be a family of three but a family of four; with two boys under two!! As we get closer to the birth date, which is two weeks shy of my first-borns’ first birthday I have to admit that the anxiety and fears are on the rise. I’m not quite sure that there is a way to get mentally, physically, and emotionally “prepared” for welcoming baby #2 so soon. I feel like I’m still recovering from giving birth the first time around! The pain, discomfort, postpartum depression, sleepless nights, trouble breast-feeding… the list could go on.
Maybe that’s one of the reasons I chose not to share with many people that I was pregnant again so soon. The fact is that its scary and crazy to me to have another child so quickly. If I could have more time in between the two I think I’d choose to. I’m over here still trying to adjust to being a first time mom and soon will have to do it all over again while caring for an almost one year old! Feels a bit overwhelming and terrifying to me; and yet many women have done it before me and have survived. As mothers we are always learning and trying to do our best–that is what I need to focus on as my family keeps growing. There will be tough and stressful times and yet God will carry us through to the happier and more relaxing times. I’m not super excited about labor and delivery (what woman is!?) but I am curious and excited to see what this new baby will look like and how Lorenzo will act as an older brother, and how our family of four will function. I know that having two boys so close to each other will be extremely tough but I also know that they will be the best of friends and have each others backs for a long time to come.
In the midst of all the anxiety and fears I have to remember that God is always there and he allows certain things to happen for a reason. So yes fears, I’ve got PLENTY and I’m sure many women can relate. In these last few weeks before giving birth I hope that I can set aside the anxiety, stress, and overwhelming feelings to focus on relaxing and being thankful for what God is blessing my family with – a new little angel to take care of. I hope that my excitement at being a second time mom will grow as the date inches closer. Even though I know I’ll probably be experiencing all sorts of up and down emotions right after the delivery I give thanks to God for the loving husband, family, and friends he has put in my life. I know that they will be there every step of the way regardless of my craziness postpartum. And as April continues to get closer, I know that God will be with me and bring me happiness and joy because in the end that is what life is about and children are a gift from God. No matter how much fear I have God has allowed it and he does that to make me a stronger and more loving and caring woman, wife, mother, sister, daughter, and friend. God bless 🙂